I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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