worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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