Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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