btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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