Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
