we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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