nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
