...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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