Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
