I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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