too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
well you can't waste a boner
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
