u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
