I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
