Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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