Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.

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(585): View more from New York

I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...

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(216): View more from Ohio

I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.

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(714): View more from California

We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian

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(334): View more from Alabama

I just found out why people like handcuffs.

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