He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
