I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
