A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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