Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
