i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
