So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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