I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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