My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
