look no pants
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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