so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
