he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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