hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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