call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
