Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
