she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I hope mine doesn't look like that
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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