I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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