Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
