he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
