i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
