i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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