I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
