I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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