So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
