dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
