It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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