Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
