If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
