let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
