I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
