yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
