Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
