you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Randomize
