I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
