How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
