Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
