Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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