Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
